After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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