im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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