no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
