Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
