Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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