hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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