she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We had to coat check the pizza.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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