He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
