Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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