I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
