He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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