Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
