just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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