i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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