I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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