***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
