That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
