It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize