Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
