her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
