im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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