He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
