never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
