She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
