I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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