And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
