Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize