So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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