My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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