He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
