i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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