I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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