Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
