I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
