That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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