yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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