I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
