she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
