Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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