i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
