it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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