No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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