I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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