just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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