I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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