you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
