6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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