We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
In America we eat man semen.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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