im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
