I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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