You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
