3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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