Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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