there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Of course I have a pirate flag
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
