I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
