one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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