I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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