Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
