If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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