We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
