I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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