We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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