I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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