Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
