It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I fill condoms, not promises.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
