I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize