On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
As shirtless as possible
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
