so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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