He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
