Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
