plz talk dirty to me
look no pants
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
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She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize