I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
