We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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